One is a Rodent

Bengaaaaaaaaazzzzzeeeeeee

The other is a Kia Soul hamster.

Planet of the UKIPs

PlanetOfTheUKIPs

Finally, A Reasonable North Carolina Bill

NC-APA-1

NC-APA-2

I Hope This Quote is Accurate

I just read about Martin Shkreli. I hereby reverse the church’s position on abortion. I mean, seriously. That guy should have been aborted. Maybe even twice or three times, just to make sure.
– Pope Francis

Its not, of course.

But it should be.

From the Sunday Morning Classified Section

DC Office Space - RI

The Latest Anthem

From Billbored:

Country music star Hank Williams, Jr., has just released a single in advance of his upcoming album marking his 65th year, Bocephus Security.  Taking into account that he’s now well over twice as old as his daddy Hank Sr, was when he died in the back of a cab on New Years’s Day 1953, Hank, Jr. being 65 is a bit disconcerting, but it isn’t controversial.

The advance single, however, is sure to be.

The song, “Chicken Lickin,'” is what Hank Jr. is calling a “black anthem for the 21st century.”

But the controversy will not end there.

The video features a character resembling President Obama stealing a bucket of fried chicken from the ghost of Colonel Sanders and handing out the pieces to members of the New Black Panthers.

Countering the inevitable charges of racism given his history of incendiary remarks against Obama (as well as some more generally racially insensitive comments), Hank Jr. said the song and video are anything but racist.

For crying out loud, is there ANYTHING people won’t take offense to?  I love the black people and I wrote this song for the black people,” he insisted.  “I wrote it to be an anthem and if the liberal media doesn’t gang up on it, the song is going to be an anthem.”

“Besides,” Hank Jr. added, “the guy in the video who’s made up to look somewhat like Obama?  That’s Ben Carson – who, when last I checked, is actually black!  And he gave me a thumbs-up on every word of the song.  So no, I ain’t black.  But, unlike that chick from the B-52s who did that ‘tranny anthem,’ I actually got some input from a member of the group I was writing the song for!”

Hot Rumor of the Day

The Los Angeles Clippers are going to relocate to Clark County, Nevada.

And Now, A Sunday Morning Commercial

CherryMax

(Found on Facebook; H/T to whoever came up with it)

Breaking News: New Olympics Logo Unveiled for 2014 Games!

Samuel L. Jackson Set to Star in Big-Budget Bio of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas

This is big news:

Hollywood was abuzz today with the news that Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to play radical conservative Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas in a movie planned for a Christmas 2014 release.

When asked about why he’d take on such a project, Jackson was characteristically blunt.

“Are you kidding me?  This will be theeasiest ten million dollars that anyone has ever made – legally or otherwise.  I only have to do one day of work, and I don’t even have to get out of my bathrobe.”

He elaborated, “All I have to do is a little voiceover work.  All of the visuals are just going to be my scenes from Django Unchained with the new voice parts – a little ‘corporations are people’ here and a little ‘Anita Hill’ there – and I’m good to go.”

The studio clarified what seemed to be a simplistic cinematography setup,  “Well, Samuel’s basically right, but there is a bit of a budget for some CGI – mostly switching cars out for the horses.”

Also in a somewhat unconventianal move, the justice’s wife, highly-paid Tea Party lobbyist Ginni Thomas, will be played by Maggie Gallagher, heretofore only known as a rabid opponent of same-sex marriage.

Said Gallagher, “Acting is a form of lying – and I’ve been lying about gay people and same-sex marriage for years now, so this won’t be much of a change – just in front of film cameras instead of on the internet and Fox News.”

With a wink, however, she did add, “It will be a heck of a pay cut, though.”

Jennifer Lawrence, eat your heart out.