Its “The AL Wild Card Game.” Period.

The kid in me who suffered through many really ugly baseball summers at the Astrodome in the 1970s is giving a thumbs-up to the current incarnation of the team, which, surprisingly, has managed to make it into the playoffs this year.

Its also nice that my local minor league team is currently an Astros affiliate, so I got to see several of the rookies who put the Astros back on the map this year a few years ago.

Of course, true to form for a Houston team, they blew a big lead and managed to not win their division, instead sneaking in as the second wild-card team – something that didn’t even exist as recently as four years ago.

Still, the Astros made the playoffs.

On Tuesday at Yankee Stadium they will be the visiting team for the AL Wild Card Game.




It is the AL Wild Card Game, not ‘the AL Wild Card Game presented by [an advertiser]’.

I could say some more, but I’ll just say: Insert Bill Hicks’ thoughts on marketers here.

“You Know, You Go to Saudi Arabia and You Need Two Women to Testify Against a Man. Here You Need 25.”


After that salient observation, I think that if Bill Hicks was still alive even he might be willing to forgive Jay Leno for his career as a corporate sellout.

Bill Hicks Plus 20

From FDL:

Just 20 years ago, to this day, American comedian Bill Hicks passed away at the age of 32. A fierce social critic often mentioned in circles like George Carlin and Lenny Bruce, Hicks was popular throughout his stand-up career.

His work still feels relevant as his riffs on George H. W. Bush don’t feel much different than if he were talking about George W. Bush. His criticism of a materialist culture pushed by marketers (a routine of his was asking them to kill themselves) is just as relevant today with the bombardment of advertisements in all areas of our life that is reminiscent of the “No Space” phrase in No Logo by Naomi Klein.

In a Jan. 1994 interview with Hicks, he stated Congress was “an old boys club that is about as corrupt as it possible could get.” Moreover, it was “getting kickbacks and pay-offs from major corporations and the last thing they are doing is representing humanity.” It’s comical, [20] years later, to find Congress to be a millionaires’ club.

Jay Leno dishononred his memory by not having on, as his final guests, Patrick Duffy and Joey Lawrence.

But, I digress…

Born on Dec. 16, 1961, Hicks grew up in Houston, Texas when he was seven years old after moving a bit in his life. While in Houston, he didn’t enjoy the conditions there as he told John Lahr:

“When I was about eleven, it dawned on me that I didn’t like where I was.”

I’m ashamed to admit that it took me a bit longer than that to come to that conclusion about Houston.

Of course, he didn’t leave when he was 11.  He actually hung around long enough to take a few classes at the University of Houston – and he was there at the same time I took my few classes at Cougar High on Calhoun St.

It would require massive violations of federal law – and general notions of privacy – but nevertheless I would, just on general principle, love to find the student rosters for those classes to see if one of the other Houston-hating people in those giant auditoria for Intro to Architecture or Chem 1301 was one William Melvin Hicks.

Preparing for Disappointment

To mark the upcoming 20th anniversary of Bill Hicks’ death, the least that Jay Leno could do would be to finally have on Patrick Duffy and Joey Lawrence as guests tonight.

However, I’m presuming he won’t.

Humanity is Indeed Nothing But a Virus With Shoes

At least when Lyndon Johnson handed the South to Republicans and then destroyed the Democratic Party over Vietnam, we at least got the Civil Rights Act as a consolation prize.

What does our Syria consolation prize look to be?

A DADT repeal that allows LGB bloodthirsty warmongers can die along with everyone else to line the pockets of draftdodging defense contractors (until the next Republican president reinstitutes the equivalent of DADT via executive order)…

Larry Summers as head of the Federal Reserve…

And President Marco Rubio.

Color me even more jaundiced than Bill Hicks was on ‘Rant in E Minor.’

In the meantime….

Memo to Joe Solmonese: Make a note on your calendar on whatever day it is that President Obama succeeds in conning Congress into declaring a wink-wink-nudge-nudge war on Syria.

The note?

This is, for all practical substantive LGBT political purposes, Jan. 19, 2017.

Clearly, President Obama isn’t the only one who can pull a red line out of his ass.

Yours, however, can be moved forward – and President Obama is about to do it for you.

Beware the Fake Moderates

They’re often named ‘Chris Christie’:

Lobbyist Chris Christie worked to remove securities fraud from a consumer fraud act on behalf of an organization run by Bernie Madoff.

And they’re often found in bed with fake liberals, like Rahm Emanuel:

Christie has an undeserved reputation as a moderate. His record is that of a hard core right-winger, far out of step with most New Jersey voters. [Christie’s Democrat challenger in the November re-election race Barbara] Buono has been having a hard time raising money and Christie is busy defining her before she can define herself. So far Christie has raised $6.6 million and Buono has raised $2.3 million. The Newark Star-Ledger reported yesterday that Christie has been reaping a great deal of money from Democrats, many sent his way by Rahm Emanuel, a conservative with many of the same pro-Wall Street policy agendas as Christie. I know it isn’t politically correct to say “retarded,” but that’s probably the best way to describe the “Democrats” writing big checks to Christie.

I wonder how many of those “Democrats” drive Beamers with red equal signs – and license plates from either Maryland, New York or Delaware – on them.

As I remarked on Facebook:  Insert the Bill Hicks routine about the two puppets, each operated by hands that come from the same body here.

The Irony of the Undead

I think we’ve all finally agreed that what used to be the Advocate is thoroughly dead, right?

And yet, we’ve also all seen Night of the Living Dead.


I now present Night of the Living Advocate:

Op-ed: Democrats Throw Queers Under the Bus—Again

Senate Democrats showed their true colors when they left LGBT families and individuals out of this week’s sweeping immigration reform bill.


What makes that so zombiefied – and a little bit whole lot of ironic on the side?

Its author:

Victoria A. Brownworth

Oh yes…

That Victoria A. Brownworth.

There is no wrong moment for equality. And anyone who thinks so is not a true ally.

I doubt seriously if any trans woman has ever mistaken Victoria A. Brownworth for an ally – 32 years ago or now.

Of course, 32 years ago, the Advocate was a serious (albeit not just transphobic but hostile to pretty much anything that its owner, David Goodstein, didn’t like) magazine.

Now, it is less than dead, a zombie so deprived of not just blood and oxygen but brain activity that even Bill Hicks likely would take pity on it and not make fun of its inability to appreciate the irony of letting first-generation TERF Victoria A. Brownworth be its voice of whinery about Democratic ‘allies’ throwing a form of the gay marriage issue under the immigration bus.

Prepare for the Upcoming Bleacher Creature Double Feature of a Lifetime!

First up: Pope Derby 2013!

Followed by TERF War!

Now, if only Jay Leno could FINALLY book both Patrick Duffy and Joey Lawrence on the same edition of the Tonight Show to make it a triple feature, all would be right with the world…

until tomorrow.

Tonight, Bill Hicks Smiles

From CNN:

Jimmy Kimmel says he feels bad hurting other peoples’ feelings, but he makes an exception for Jay Leno because “I don’t believe Jay Leno has actual feelings.”

The “Jimmy Kimmel Live” host, who has mocked Leno in the past, revisits his dislike for “The Tonight Show” host in a new interview with Playboy.

“He doesn’t seem to be that worried about other people’s feelings,” Kimmel told the magazine.

The comedian went on to say, regarding his show monologue, “If I can imagine Jay Leno telling a joke, then I won’t do it, even if it’s a good joke.”

And tonight – as every night – I await the Patrick Duffy – Joey Lawrence episode of Leno’s Tonight Show.

Pic of the Day: Nov. 19, 2012 (‘Bud Adams and Bill Hicks Were Both Alive When This Was Taken and it Makes Me Ill to Realize Which One of the Two Still is’ Edition)

Prior to the Monday Night Football game between the Houston Oilers and the Chicago Bears, at the Astrodome, Houston, Texas, Dec. 7, 1992 (one of Mike Ditka’s last games as head coach of ‘da Bears.)