How Can We Miss You if You Don’t Stay Away?

At the outset, I have to note this – which doesn’t directly involve Marie Ann-toinette:

ShepardSargent

Is it just me, or is Shepard Smith beginning to resemble a cross between John Boehner and the cartoon image of Dick Sargent in the opening sequence of the later episodes of Bewitched?

ShepardDick

I’m just sayin’….

Now, as for Marie Ann-toinette:

In his first interview since November’s presidential election, Mitt Romney compared the end of the 2012 campaign to the sensation of getting off a roller coaster.

Ann Romney said she believes the couple has done well with the post-election “adjustment,” likening it to roles they have had in their church.

“In our church, we’re used to serving and you know, you can be in a very high position, but you recognize you’re serving,” she said.

No, Ann – you’re used to having your own definition of “serving.”

For Mitt the Flip in 1968, “serving” meant living in a French chateau and frolicking on beaches after rough days of recruiting new mormons. For almost every other American male of his age in 1968, “serving” meant the very real possibility of being kidnapped by the miltary and thereafter being forced to live in mudbogs in Vietnam and to die in rice paddies in Cambodia.

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Also Not From The Onion (Really)

Low-pressure weather; high-intensity, doubled-down douchebaggery.

The mayor’s office is currently being flooded with offers from would-be volunteers who want to assist in the recovery effort.

Obviously, Donald Trump is upset about this. Because it’s taking attention away from Donald Trump.

More significantly, though, for Trump, Sandy is problematic because clearly it’s just one big sympathy ploy from Obama. “Hurricane is good luck for Obama again – he will buy the election by handing out billions of dollars. Not only giving out money, but Obama will be seen today standing in water and rain like he is a real president —don’t fall for it.” Yes, neonatal care babies being evacuated in the midst of a storm — what a windfall for the president.

Salt Lake Sanity

Those who know him(s) best – he’s down by about 500% in the state in which he illegally ran for (and somehow actually became) governor – least want Mitt the Flip to set foot in the White House.

Now, lets travel west from Massachusetts along I-80…

From the Salt Lake Tribune…

Really:

[I]t was Romney’s singular role in rescuing Utah’s organization of the 2002 Olympics from a cesspool of scandal, and his oversight of the most successful Winter Games on record, that make him the Beehive State’s favorite adopted son.

Sadly, it is not the only Romney, as his campaign for the White House has made abundantly clear, first in his servile courtship of the tea party in order to win the nomination, and now as the party’s shape-shifting nominee. From his embrace of the party’s radical right wing, to subsequent portrayals of himself as a moderate champion of the middle class, Romney has raised the most frequently asked question of the campaign: “Who is this guy, really, and what in the world does he truly believe?”

The evidence suggests no clear answer, or at least one that would survive Romney’s next speech or sound bite.

If this portrait of a Romney willing to say anything to get elected seems harsh, we need only revisit his branding of 47 percent of Americans as freeloaders who pay no taxes, yet feel victimized and entitled to government assistance. His job, he told a group of wealthy donors, “is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

Where, we ask, is the pragmatic, inclusive Romney, the Massachusetts governor who left the state with a model health care plan in place, the Romney who led Utah to Olympic glory? That Romney skedaddled and is nowhere to be found.

There is, of course, an opposing view…

of sorts:

Are you kidding? We need to vote for Mitt because if there’s anything the Bush administration taught us, we learned that credit card wars, reducing taxes for the wealthy, big pharma giveaways, and enabling wholesale Wall Street fraud are character building activities. Vote Mitt, because there’s still more profit to suck out of the middle class. While we still have one.

We also need to vote for him to appease whatever alien race has taken root in the bodies of him and his family…

Right?

A Nestene Auton With a Dried-Out, Overblown Wig?

Or an over-entitled, 0.00001%-er who thinks she’s too good to be criticized?

 

Or both?

Robert Bork

Any Questions?

From Huff Po:

Now that Mitt Romney has ground out a victory against the weakest GOP field in a generation and the most extreme in history, he’s now turning his attention to the general election. To use a particularly vivid metaphor, he’s shaking his Etch-a-Sketch as hard as he can, trying to erase his far-right pandering in the primaries. But despite his head fakes towards moderation, no one should doubt that a President Mitt Romney would enact a dangerously extreme agenda for our country, and nothing makes that clearer than the person he selected as his constitutional and judicial advisor: Robert Bork.

Yes, that Robert Bork.

Wanna have some fun?

Find a gay Republican who gets orgasmic at the sound of Ronald Reagan’s name.

Ask said gay Republican if he thinks that Romer v. Evans and Lawrence v. Texas were good things.

If he says yes, remind him that if Bonzo McDeath Valley Days had gotten his way, Anthony Kennedy – the man who wrote both of those opinions – would not have ever gotten onto the U.S. Supreme Court.  And, instead, that seat would be occupied by Robert Bork.

Why is it That When I See This I Think of the X-Files Episode With the Demonic Creatures Who Hide in Plain Sight and Whose True Form Can Only be Seen in the Shadows?

Where Are You, Doug Niedermeyer? They’re Trying to Crucify Me!

So sayeth Lord Etch of Sketch anyway.

From Daily Kos:

Listen, people. Mitt Romney knows you don’t like him, and he’s sick of it. In an interview with Politico, “Romney made plain he is tired of the criticism that he is stiff, distant or not broadly liked by voters.” Not only that, he offered proof that he’s a likable guy:

“I was voted the president of my fraternity,” he said. “They don’t call them fraternities at Brigham Young University. They’re called Service Clubs. It was the Cougar Club. But you don’t get voted to be head of your group if you don’t get along with people, if you don’t connect with people.”

There’s evidence of broad-based social appeal: More than 40 years ago, a group of voters as diverse as Romney’s Brigham Young frat brothers considered him electable. Clearly, he’s got what it takes to win the affections of a majority of American voters. (Why, by 2011, BYU’s student population was, gosh, getting close to 12 percent non-white.)

Yes, that Mitt Romney logic is kinda like that ol’ Dick Nixon charm and the man-eating haddock-fishbeast of Aberdeen: non-existent (though, to be fair, supposedly Tricky Dick was enough of a footbal fan that you could have a cordial conversation with him about it.)

Seamus’s Torquemada’s ‘logic’ is that because the rich mormon son of a rich mormon governor of Michigan was popular with the creme of the desert hitler youth, er…, young mormon elite 40 years ago (did BYU have any non-whites then? I actually don’t know) he’s popular with the entirety of America now?

This sort of inherent logic flaw in his thought processes – assuming, of course, that he actually believes it himself, which actually should never be assumed, but humor me – should by itself disqualify him from holding any public office, much less the presidency.